• Ally Lightfoot

9 Ways To Be The Best Wedding Guest

If you've ever been part of a wedding, you probably know that they can be extremely stressful. Let's face it, weddings are a ton of work. Here are some things that the engaged couple will probably never tell you, but would love for you to know! Follow along and learn how to be the best wedding guest... ever!

1. RSVP on time

Yes, I know, it seems so simple but this is almost always a problem. By the time you receive your invitation, you will probably have an idea of if you are able to attend of not. If you already know that you’re attending, just follow the instructions and RSVP right now! If you aren’t sure yet, make sure that you leave the invitation somewhere where you won’t forget about it and respond as soon as you know. Typically couple’s will need to give their final number to their venue, caterer, decorator, etc. about 3 weeks before the wedding. Not to mention that they would probably like the get their seating chart made or even ordered. Just make sure to RSVP as soon as you know if you will be attending and definitely no later than the RSVP date.

Bonus Tip! RSVP however the couple has asked you to. Do not call them or tell a friend to tell them if they asked you to mail a card back.

2. RSVP for only the people who are invited

This is so important! Before returning your response, check to see who is actually invited. It may seem obvious to you to bring your kids or your partner but for whatever reason, they may not actually be invited.

How to tell who is invited:

  • Check who the envelope is addressed to

  • Check how many seats have been reserved for you

  • Check the wedding website, there may be more information such as, adult only event

  • If you're still not clear, ask! They will appreciate it.

3. Respect The Wishes Of The Couple

Weddings are meant to be a celebration of the couple starting a new life together! That means that the couple needs to make decisions that are right for them and unfortunately, they cannot please everyone. They may not be able to invite children because perhaps they are over capacity or maybe they have to have a cash bar because money is tight. Feel free to ask questions but remember that this is their wedding day and they have to do what’s right for them.

4. Avoid Wearing White

As a Wedding Planner, I do not even own white. I know, it's a little dramatic but white (and off-white, ivory, cream etc.) is reserved for the bride! The truth is, some brides may not care, but many brides do. Out of respect for the bride, we recommend avoiding white. This doesn’t mean that you can’t wear a black and white dress or bring a white purse. What I’m saying is try not to wear a white dress or even a primarily white outfit to a wedding. This is one day in a person’s life when they get to feel truly special. Let the bride stand out and save your gorgeous white sundress for another occasion!

Bonus Tip! Check the invitation or wedding website for a dress code. Some events may be black tie only or even have a specific colour scheme.

5. Arrive To The Ceremony On Time

This probably seems extremely obvious but it often gets overlooked. Most people see 3:00pm ceremony an they think that if they arrive at 3:00pm, they'll be on time! But a 3:00pm ceremony normally means that the bride will be walking down the aisle at 3:01pm (or at least that’s the plan). Try to arrive 15 – 20 minutes early to avoid awkwardly opening the doors just as the bride is walking down the aisle.

6. Keep Negative Comments To Yourself

If you want to be the best wedding guest, keep your negative comments to yourself. No wedding is perfect for everyone, and that is completely okay! I tell every single one of my clients to design a day that is 100% about them and only them. I use their personalities and individuality to plan a wedding that reflects them, not the guests. It’s impossible to please every single guest so please keep any negative comments to yourself. Your loved one is getting married! As long as they’re happy, we all should be too.

7. Avoid Entering The Reception Room Before You're Welcomed In

In the hours leading up to the wedding reception there is normally a team of vendors working hard to set everything up. Imagine the Wedding Planner, DJ, Caterer, Bartender, Decorator, Florist and so many more amazing wedding professionals all trying to work with each other (and around each other) to pull off a gorgeous reception room. Then imagine the Photographer trying to get photos of all the details before guests come inside. This is why we ask that you remain at the ceremony or cocktail hour until you are officially invited into the reception room. We want you to see it when it’s completely finished to have the full WOW factor that the couple designed it to have.

8. Be Aware Of Your Technology

There is nothing worse than a giant iPad in every professional picture, especially during the ceremony. The couple has likely spent their hard earned money on an amazing photographer and they don’t want an iPad or camera in every shot. If you’re worried about not having any pictures, ask the couple to send you some! They will likely receive hundreds of photos from their photographer.

Try to stay off your phone as much as possible. Weddings are a time to build community and bring family and friends together! Be in the moment, meet new people and have a great time!

9. Have Fun & Drink Responsibly

Weddings are fun! Open bars, dancing, food, friends, family… it’s a great time! Please have fun and drink responsibly! There’s nothing worse than having to call a cab at 9:00pm because a guest has already had a little bit too much fun.

There you have it! You are now equipped with the information you need to be the best wedding guest ever. The most important thing is to remember that you are there to support the couple! Love them and respect their choices.

What do you think?! Do you have any additional tips? Did you learn something new? Let me know in the comments below! Don't forget to follow us on instagram @perfectlydesignedevents for more wedding tips and advice!



Thank you to Holly Dalton Photography for all photos in this post!

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